Alan's Humorama.com - Alan's Hum-o-Rama.com Joke #1210 of 8246 Jokes, Funnies, and more jokes!

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We, the people of Buffalo, hold these truths to be self evident:

Re: Food

We call them "wings", or "chicken wings" if you want to be formal..NEVER
"Buffalo wings".

No one outside of WNY can make decent wings.

It's "weck" not "wick".

It's "pop" not "soda".

They're "subs" not hoagies or heroes or bombers.

A whole pizza with pepperoni shouldn't cost more than 10 bucks.

Everyone knows someone who works in a pizza joint.

Re: Dining Out

Everyone knows where "the best fish-fry in town" is.

Except for maybe Friday evening, you don't have to wait for a table.

There is no public restaurant in town that requires a jacket and tie....and if there was, we wouldn't go there.

You won't find Grey Poupon on the table.

The second most asked question in a restaurant after "Smoking or
non-smoking" is "Is this coupon any good tonight?"

The third most asked question is "Are there free re-fills on the pop?"

We don't "Valet Park" unless there is absolutely no other choice.

Every bar has "Happy Hour" prices from 4:30 - 7pm Monday - Friday.

Even though no one orders it, if it doesn't have "Genny" it's not a bar.

Anything over $2.75 for a beer is robbery.

Re: Locations

You call it the "Scajaquada" you spell it "198".

The most famous address is "998 Broadway".

You still get a little queasy driving over the Skyway in blowing snow.

You think anyone who drives more than 30 minutes to get to work must live in the boondocks.

You get mad when you get stuck in "rush hour" traffic and it takes 10
minutes longer to get home.

You avoid the "blue water tower" during "rush hour" because of the above.

You know Fort Erie is famous for two things. Chinese Food and the "Ballet".

The roads and bridges have been paid for since 1968 but they ain't never
taking out the toll-booths.

Its' inevitable whatever is finally decided on the Peace Bridge issue will no doubt be the wrong choice.

You rode the Rapid Transit from end to end.once.... to see what it was
like.

Paying $5 to park all day downtown is robbery.

The hookers may be gone, but Chippewa Street still isn't for everyone.

You still refer to places like Sloan and Blasdell.

"LA" is Lackawanna not Los Angeles

You apologize for Niagara Falls, NY as you take your visitors to Niagara
Falls, ON.

Secretly.....you like going to Toronto.

Re: Institutions

You threaten to send your kids to Father Bakers' if they don't behave.

You can pronounce "Weinstein" correctly on the first try.

Even though they haven't done it in about 25 years you're pretty sure
Channel 7 still makes reference to "pistol packing punks", and you're
pretty sure they don't show the same fire every night.

You know Commander Tom's real identity.

You can only name 3 radio stations that have been around longer than 5
years. WGR; WBEN; and WKBW....at least you think WKBW is still around; just don't know what it plays since they got rid of Danny Neaverth.

Everyone says the Albright Knox Art Gallery is a treasure....but a lot of the stuff in there kind of looks like dropcloths .

It's the "Hamburg Fair" not the "Erie County Fair and Expo".

You know what Dyngus Day is.

You know the wrong newspaper folded in the '80s.

You consider Penney's to be relatively "upscale".

Its "UB" ...not "SUNY at Buffalo"

The St.Patrick's Day Parade means winter is officially overeven if it
snows.

There is some kind of "fest" somewhere, every weekend from Memorial Day to Labor Day

Re: Sports

All-time Number 1 - You HATE the Miami Dolphins....and just when you
thought you couldn't hate them any MORE, they get Jimmy Johnson

We're SURE the NFL is out to screw us....so is the NHL....the NBA already did.... so did Major League Baseball....so did The Big East Conference

You still don't forgive St. Bonaventure for ruining the Little Three. What is a "Bonnie" anyway?

Someone must listen to Bison games on the radio you just never met him.

Even WE'RE not desperate enough to support Professional Roller Hockey in
the summer.

You know someone who knows someone who knows "the real story on Jim Kelly".

You have a strong opinion one way or the other on Ralph Wilson.

You can't BELIEVE that you once really liked OJ.

Re: Buffalo - Lore

We're absolutely sure that we're paying high taxes to subsidize the NYC
subway system.

We're absolutely sure that we're paying high electricity bills to subsidize NYC.

We're absolutely sure that we're paying high tolls to repair the Thruway
near NYC.

We hate NYC....wish they would form their own state.

You're still blaming Rockefeller for everything that is wrong with the
State.

You have a strong opinion one way or the other on Jimmy Griffin.

You know someone who knows someone.....who knows "the real story on Rick
James."

It ain't a real snowstorm unless they ban driving for more than 6 hours.

You carry a shovel and jumper cables in your trunk all year round.

If you drive a foreign car you feel a little guilty and constantly explain "Its made in Ohio".

You believe this a "blue collar" town but its hard to find someone that's in a labor union.

None of the current theme parks is as cool as Crystal Beach was in its'
day.

Re: Unbelievable Things About Other Places

Everyone doesn't pay 8% sales tax???....or $3,000/yr property tax on a
$70,000 house???

All golf course aren't flat???

What's a Freeway???

The rest of the country isn't 90% Catholic???

What do you mean we have an accent??? We talk EXACTLY like the announcers on television.

People who live in areas subject to hurricanes, tornadoes, floods,
droughts, range fires, mudslides, and earthquakes can't BELIEVE that we
would live in an area that gets so much snow???

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