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PG:10
Dear Redneck Son:

I'm writing this letter slowly because I know you can't read
very fast.

We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in
the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles of
home, so we moved.

I won't be able to send you the new address because the last
family that lived here took the house numbers with them so that
they wouldn't have to change their address.

This really is a nice modern house, you'd like it. It even has a
washing machine! I'm not sure it works very well, though. Last
week I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain, and
haven't seen the clothes since.

The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the
first time for three days, and the second time for four days.

About the coat you wanted me to send you-- Your Uncle Stanley
said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons
and all on it, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.

John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really
worried because it took him 2 hours to get me and your father
out. Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven't found
out what it is yet, so I don't know if you are an aunt or an
uncle. The baby looks just like your brother!!

Uncle Ted fell into a vat of whiskey last week. Some brave men
tried to pull him out, but he fought them off playfully, then
drowned. We had him cremated, and he burned for 3 days.

Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pick-up truck.
Ralph was driving and was able to roll down the window and swim
to safety. Your other two friends were not so lucky. They were
riding in the back and drowned trying to get the tailgate open.

There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has
happened.

Love, MOM

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