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191 votes up
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Laff Factor:
PG:-19
Guy Quotes:

"I'M GOING FISHING":
Translation: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and
stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish
swim by in complete safety."

"IT'S A GUY THING"
Translation: "There is no rational thought pattern connected
with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Translation: "Why isn't it already on the table?"

"UH HUH, SURE HONEY, OR YES DEAR"
Translation: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Translation: "I have no idea how it works."

"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND"
Translation: "I was wondering if that redhead over there is
wearing a bra."

"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD"
Translation: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner"

"THAT'S INTERESTING DEAR"
Translation: "Are you still talking?"

"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS"
Translation: "I remember the theme song to F Troop, the address
of the first girl I ever kissed and the vehicle identification
numbers of every car I've ever owned,.... but I forgot your
birthday."

"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES"
Translation: "The girl selling them was a real babe"

"OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL"
Translation: " I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to
death before I admit that I'm hurt."

"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING."
Translation: "And I sure hope I can think of some pretty soon."

"I CAN'T FIND IT"
Translation: " It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm
completely clueless."

"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Translation: "What did you catch me at?"

"I HEARD YOU"
Translation: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said,
and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that
you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."

"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC"
Translation: "Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit, I'm
Starving."

"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Translation: "No one will ever see us alive again."

"WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK"
Translation: "I make the messes, she cleans them up."

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