Alan's Humorama.com - Alan's Hum-o-Rama.com Joke #79 of 8246 Jokes, Funnies, and more jokes!

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It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change
the admittance policy. The new law was that, in order to get into
Heaven,you had to have a really bummer day on the day that you died.
The policy would go into effect at noon the next day.

So, the next day at 12:01, the first person came to the gates of
Heaven. The Angel at the gate, remembering the new policy, promptly
asked the man, "Before I let you in, I need to know how your day was
going when you died."

"No problem," the man said. I came home to my 25th floor apartment
on my lunch hour and caught my wife having an affair. But her lover
was nowhere in sight; immediately I began searching for him. My wife
was half-naked and yelling at me as I searched the entire apartment.
Just as I was about to give up, I happened to glance out onto the
balcony and noticed that there was a man hanging off the edge by his
fingertips! The nerve of that guy! Well, I ran out onto the balcony
and stomped on his fingers until he fell to the ground. But wouldn't
you know it, he landed in some trees and bushes that broke his fall
and he didn't die. This ticked me off even more.

In a rage, I went back inside to get the first thing that I could lay
my hands on to throw at him and oddly, the first thing I thought of
was the refrigerator. I unplugged it, pushed it out onto the balcony,
and tipped it over the side. It plummeted 25 stories and crushed him!
The excitement of the moment was so great that I had a heart attack
and died almost instantly."

The Angel sat back and thought a moment. Technically, the guy did have
a bad day. It was a crime of passion. So, the Angel announces, "OK sir.
Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven", and let him in.

A few seconds later the next guy came up. To the Angel's surprise, it
Was Vernon Jordan. "Mr. Jordan, before I can let you in, I need to hear
about what your day was like when you died.

Jordan said, "No problem. But you are not going to believe this. I was
on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment doing my daily exercises. I had
been under a lot of pressure so I was really pushing hard to relieve my
stress. I guess I got a little carried away, slipped, and accidentally
fell over the side! Luckily, I was able to catch myself by my fingertips
on the balcony below. But than all of a sudden this crazy man comes out
of his apartment, starts cussing, and stomps on my fingers. Well of
course I fell. I hit some trees and bushes at the bottom, which broke my
fall so I didn't die right away. As I'm laying there face up on the
ground, unable to move and in excruciating pain, I see this guy push his
refrigerator of all things off the balcony. It falls the 25 floors and
lands on top of me killing me instantly. "

The Angel is quietly laughing to himself as Jordan finishes his story.
"I could get used to this new policy", he thinks to himself.

"Very well sir," the Angel announces. "Welcome to the Kingdom of
Heaven," and he lets Vernon enter.

A few seconds later, President Clinton comes up to the gate. The Angel
is almost too shocked to speak. Thoughts of assassination and war pour
through the Angel's head. Finally he says "Mr. President, please tell
me what it was like the day you died."

Clinton says, "OK, picture this. I'm naked inside a refrigerator..............."

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