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This was in the "Bob Levey's Washington" column in the Washington Post.
Every year he compiles and prints the "Best T-shirts of the Summer":

1) (around a picture of dandelions) I Fought the Lawn and the Lawn Won

2) So Few Men, So Few Who Can Afford Me

3) I Suffer Occasional Delusions of Adequacy

4) God Made Us Sisters, Prozac Made Us Friends

5) If They Don't Have Chocolate In Heaven, I Ain't Going

6) At My Age, I've Seen It All, Done It All, Heard It All... I Just Can't
Remember It All

7) My Mother Is A Travel Agent For Guilt Trips

8) I Just Do What The Voices Inside My Head Tell Me To Do

9) (Worn by a pregnant woman) A Man Did This To Me, Oprah

10) If It's Called Tourist Season, Why Can't We Hunt Them?

11) Senior Citizen: Give Me My Damn Discount

12) Princess, Having Had Sufficient Experience With Princes, Seeks Frog

13) No, It Doesn't Hurt (on a "well-tattooed gentleman")

14) (on the back of a passing motorcyclist) If You Can Read This, My Wife Fell Off

15) I Used To Be Schizophrenic, But We're OK Now

16) (Over the outline of the state of Minnesota) My Governor Can Beat Up
Your Governor

17) Veni, Vedi, Visa: I came. I Saw. I Did a Little Shopping.

18) What If The Hokey Pokey Is Really What It's All About

19) I Didn't Climb to the Top of the Food Chain to Be a Vegetarian

20) (on the Front) Yale Is Just One Big Party (on the back) With a $25,000 Cover Charge

21) Coffee, Chocolate, Men...Some Things Are Just Better Rich

22) Liberal Arts Major...Will Think For Money

23) Growing Old is Inevitable; Growing Up is Optional

24) IRS -- Be Audit You Can Be

25) Gravity...It's Not Just a Good Idea. It's the Law.

26) If You Want Breakfast In Bed, Sleep In the Kitchen

27) Wanted: Meaningful Overnight Relationship

28) The Old Pro...Often Wrong...Never In Doubt

29) If At First You Don't Succeed, Skydiving Isn't For You

30) Old Age Comes at a Bad Time

31) In America, Anyone Can Be President. That's One of the Risks You Take.

32) First Things First, but Not Necessarily in That Order.

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