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Modern Proverbs:

If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.

Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, any more than
going to a garage makes you a mechanic.

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

A closed mouth gathers no feet.

If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never
tried before.

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is
serious.

It is easier to get forgiveness, than permission.

I have found at my age going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out
of my face.

For every action, there is an equal and opposite government
program.

If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the
trip.

Always yield to temptation, because it may not pass your way
again.

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

A conscience is what hurts, when all your other parts feel so
good.

Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

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