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Laff Factor:
PG:38
Last week I took some friends out to a restaurant, and noticed
that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt
pocket. It seemed a little strange, but I ignored it. However,
when the busboy brought out water and utensils, I noticed he
also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. I then looked around the
room and saw that all the waitpersons had a spoon in their
pocket.

When the waiter came back to check on our order I asked, "Why
the spoon?"

"Well," he explained, "the restaurant's owners hired Andersen
Consulting, experts in efficiency, in order to revamp all our
processes. After several months of statistical analysis, they
concluded that customers drop their spoons 73.84% more often
than any other utensil. This represents a drop frequency of
approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are
prepared to deal with that contingency, we can reduce the number
of trips back to the kitchen and save 1.5 man-hours per shift."

As we finished talking, a metallic sound was heard from behind
me. Quickly, the waiter replaced the dropped spoon with the one
in his pocket and said, "I'll get another spoon next time I go
to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right
now." I was rather impressed.

The waiter continued taking our order and while my guests
ordered, I continued to look around. I then noticed that there
was a very thin string hanging out of the waiter's fly. Looking
around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string
hanging from their fly.

My curiosity got the better of me and before the waiter walked
off. I asked him, "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have
that string right there?"

"Oh, certainly!" he answered, lowering his voice. "Not everyone
is as observant as you. That consulting firm I mentioned also
found out that we can save time in the restroom."

"How so?"

"See," he continued, "by tying this string to the tip of...
you know... we can pull it out over the urinal without touching
it and that way eliminate the need to wash the hands, shortening
the time spent in the restroom by 76.39 percent."

"Okay, that makes sense, but... if the string helps you get
it out, how do you put it back in?"

"Well," he whispered, lowering his voice even further, "I don't
know about the others, but I use the spoon."

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