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Exercise

I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't
lost a pound. Apparently, you have to show up.

I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out
what I'm doing.

I don't exercise at all. If God meant us to touch our toes, he
would have put them further up our body.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who
annoy me.

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small
country.

I don't jog. It makes the ice jump right out of my glass.

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