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"Creative Ways To Have An
Extra-Specially Fun Time Shopping!"

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose
of filling them and stranding them at strategic
locations.

2. Get boxes of condoms and randomly put
them in peoples carts when they don't realize it.

3. Set all the alarm clocks in the store to go off
at ten minute intervals throughout the day.

4. Run up to an employee (preferably a male)
while squeezing your legs together and practically
yell at him, "I need some tampons!"

5. Try on bras over top of your clothes.

6. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground,
leading to the restrooms.

7. While walking around the store, sing in your
loudest voice possible "I smell sex and candy."

8. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an
official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in
housewares," and see what happens.

9. Go to an empty checkout stand and try
to check people out.

10. Drag a lounge chair on display over to
the magazines and relax. If the store has
a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that
you don't get out much, and ask if they can
put a little umbrella in it.

11. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.

12. Test the fishing rods and see what you
can "catch" from the other aisles.

13. Put M&Ms on layaway.

14. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to
carpeted areas.

15. Set up a tent in the camping department;
tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring
pillows from Bed and Bath.

17. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and
combs in Cosmetics.

18. When someone asks if you need help,
begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people
just leave me alone?"

19. Look right into the security camera, and
use it as a mirror while pick your nose.

20. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting
up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs.
the X-Men.

21. Ask other customers if they have any
Grey Poupon.

22. While handling guns in the hunting
department, suddenly ask the clerk if he
knows where the anti-depressants are.

23. Switch the men's and women's signs
on the doors of the rest room.

24. Dart around suspiciously while humming
the theme from "Mission:Impossible."

25. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of
the store.

26. In the auto department, practice your
"Madonna" look with various funnels.

27. Hide in the clothing racks and when people
browse through, say things like "the fat man
walks alone," and scare them into believing
that the clothes are talking to them.

28. When an announcement comes over the
loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and
scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"

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