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As heard on the John Boy & Billy Big Show: real, true stories of real dumb crooks, gleaned from newspapers, wire services, and web pages around the world. This edition first broadcast on June 14, 1999.

From DUMB CROOK NEWS ©1999 John Boy & Billy, Inc.

Part #2

BAD CAREER MOVES PART 3
An Ontario, Canada man used a family hand-me-down Colt .45 in mint condition to rob a bank of $6,000. He was caught and sent to prison for six years. The police recovered both the money and the gun, and only after the gun was impounded for trial did a perspective officer take a close look at it. The Colt turned out to be one of only 100 Colt .45's made in Quebec City during World War I. Estimates of its collector value ranged from $12,000 to as much as $100,000. This means that even a lowball bid on the gun would have netted the man twice what he got from the bank job.

HEY HONEY -- DO YA MIND? WE'RE TRYIN' TO WORK IN HERE!
A Salt Lake City, Utah woman filed a lawsuit against the state division of Wildlife for alienation of affection. The agency had assigned the woman's then-husband, a wildlife officer, to partner up with a female agent and pose as a married couple in order to infiltrate a poaching operation. Apparently, the two were so good at portraying a couple that the man divorced his wife after 23 years' marriage and married his female undercover partner. The officers say they slept together in their government-supplied trailer only to give their relationship greater authenticity.

AMERICA'S FUNNIEST RESCUE 911 BLOOPERS
A Chandler, Arizona man was fooling around with a pair of handcuffs when he realized he couldn't find the key to take them off. After a few anxious minutes, the man called 911. On the way to the scene, police did a routine check and found an outstanding arrest warrant for the man. he was taken into custody without incident -- and with the handcuffs still on. "We took them off like he asked," said Sgt. Ken
Phillips, a police spokesman. "Only he was in jail at the time."

AMERICA'S FUNNIEST RESCUE 911 BLOOPERS II
A Georgia man attempted to burglarize a hardware store after hours recently. The man entered the store by cutting a hole in the roof. After entering, he realized he couldn't reach the hole to get back out. Panicked and Apparently Unable to think of anything better, he called 911 for help. Police who arrested the man say they're puzzled why he didn't try to use one of several ladders which were part of the hardware store's stock.

TIMING IS EVERYTHING
A suspect was arrested and charged with DUI in Pennsauken, New Jersey, at 3:45 a.m. on Thanksgiving Day. Two police officers who had been manning a sobriety checkpoint stopped nearly 600 drivers er a six-hour period, but had made no arrests. The officers had just closed the checkpoint and were driving away when the suspect's car rear-ended their police cruiser.

AND FINALLY...
Two animal rights activists holding a demonstration against pigs being sent to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany were rudely interrupted.
During their protest, two thousand pigs burst through a barbed wire fence and trampled them to death.


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