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Ever wondered what it would be like if Dear Abby was a man???

Dear Mr. Abby:
Q: My husband wants to experience a threesome with my sister and me.

A: Your husband is clearly devoted to you. He cannot get enough of you, so he goes for the next best thing -- your sister. Far from being an issue, this can bring all of the family together. Why not get some cousins involved? If you are still apprehensive, then let him be with your relatives, let him spend the day golfing and cook him a nice meal and don't mention this aspect of his behavior.

Dear Mr. Abby:
Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him.

A: Do it. Sperm is not only great tasting, but has only 10 calories per
spoonful. It is nutritious, helps you to keep your figure, and gives a
great glow to your skin. Interestingly, men know this. His offer to you to perform oral sex with him is totally selfless. Oral sex is extremely
painful for a man. This shows he loves you. The best thing to do is to thank him. Let him spend the day golfing and cook him a nice meal.

Dear Mr. Abby:
Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.

A: This is perfectly natural behavior and it should be encouraged. The
man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. Far
from being pleasurable, a night out with the boys is a stressful affair,
and to get back to you is a relief for him. Just look at how emotional and happy the man is when he returns to his stable home. The best thing to do is let him go golfing and cook him a nice meal and don't mention this aspect of his behavior.

Dear Mr. Abby:
Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.

A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess
with it, do it in your own time. To help with the family budget you may
wish to videotape yourself while doing this, and sell it. To ease your
selfish guilt, let your man spend the day golfing and cook him a delicious meal.

Dear Mr. Abby:
Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.

A: Foreplay to a man is very hurtful. What it means is that you do not
love your man as much as you should -- he has to work a lot to get you
in the mood. Abandon all wishes in this area, and make it up to him by
letting him spend the day golfing and cook him a nice meal.

Dear Mr. Abby:
Q: My husband has never given me an orgasm.

A: The female orgasm is a myth. It is fostered by militant, man-hating
feminists and is a danger to the family unit. Don't mention it again to
him and show your love to him by letting him spend the day golfing and don't forget to cook him a delicious meal!

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