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The prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand
in a trial - a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her
and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded, "Why,
yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were
a young boy. And frankly, you've been a big disappointment to
me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and
talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a rising
big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will
amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I
know you." The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do
he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Williams, do you
know the defense attorney?" She again replied, "Why, yes I do.
I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. I used to
baby-sit him for his parents. And he, too, has been a real
disappointment to me. He's lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking
problem. The man can't build a normal relationship with
anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire
state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three
different women. Yes, I know him."
The defense attorney was also surprised and shocked.
At this point, the judge brought the courtroom to
silence and called both counselors to the bench. In a very
quiet voice, he said with menace, "If either of you bastards
asks her if she knows me, you'll be! Jailed for contempt!"

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