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Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Whereas the party of the first part, also known as "Lawyer", and
the party of the second part, also known as "Light Bulb", do hereby
and forthwith agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second
part (Light Bulb) shall be removed from the current position as a
result of failure to perform previously agreed upon duties, i. e. the
lighting, elucidation, and otherwise illumination of the area ranging
from the front (north) door, through the entryway, terminating at an
area just inside the primary living area, demarcated by the beginning
of the carpet, any spillover illumination being at the option of the
party of the second part (Light Bulb) and not required by the
aforementioned agreement between the parties.

The aforementioned removal transaction shall include, but not be
limited to, the following steps:

1) The party of the first part (Lawyer) shall, with or without
elevation at his option, by means of a chair, step stool, ladder or
any other means of elevation, grasp the party of the second part (
Light Bulb) and rotate the party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a
counter-clockwise direction, this point being non-negotiable.

2) Upon reaching a point where the party of the second part (Light
Bulb) becomes separated from the party of the third part
("Receptacle"), the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the
option of disposing of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a
manner consistent with all applicable state, local and federal
statutes.

3) Once separation and disposal have been achieved, the party of the
first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of beginning installation
of the party of the fourth part ("New Light Bulb"). This installation
shall occur in a manner consistent with the reverse of the procedures
described in step one of this self-same document, being careful to
note that the rotation should occur in a clockwise direction, this
point also being non-negotiable.

Note: The above described steps may be performed, at the option of
the party of the first part (Lawyer), by any or all persons
authorized by him, the objective being to produce the most possible
revenue for the party of the fifth part, also known as "Partnership."

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