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Signs You've Been Out of the University for a Few Years
------------------------------------------------------------------
1. Your potted plants stay alive.
2. Sharing a twin-sized bed seems absurd.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. You have to pay your own credit card bill.
5. You haven't seen a soap opera in over a year.
6. 8:00 a.m. isn't so early anymore.
7. You have to file for your own taxes.
8. You hear your favorite song on the elevator at work.
9. You're not carded anymore.
10. You carry an umbrella.
11. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook-up and break-up.
12. You start watching the weather channel.
13. Jeans and baseball caps aren't staples in your wardrobe.
14. You can no longer take shots, and smoking anything gives you sinus attack.
15. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.
16. You stop confusing 401K plan with 10K run.
17. You go to parties that the police don't raid.
18. Adults feel comfortable telling jokes about sex in front of you.
19. You don't know what time fast food joints close anymore.
20. Your car insurance goes down.
21. You refer to college students as kids.
22. You drink wine, scotch and martinis instead of beer, bourbon & rum.
23. Your parents start making casual remarks about grandchildren.
24. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of Taco Bell.
25. You're waking up at 6 am instead of going to bed.
26. The only time you see your friends is at weddings.
27. College sweatshirts are 'casual' instead of dress up.
28. Sleeping on the couch is a no-no.
29. Naps are no longer available between noon and 6 p.m.
30. Dinner and a movie - the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
31. You get your news from sources other than USA Today, Sportscenter and MTV News.
32. You find yourself reminiscing fondly of 2-hour Calculus exams.
33. Your metabolism slows down to the point where eating salad might make you gain weight.
34. Wine appreciation expands beyond Boone's and Mad Dog.
35. You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.
36. Grocery lists actually contain relatively healthy food.
37. Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work, not video games.
38. You're actually willing to pay a bit more to drink in a bar that's not full of 21-year-old kids.
39. Golf is beginning to seem a lot less silly.

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