Alan's Humorama.com - Alan's Hum-o-Rama.com Joke #1231 of 8246 Jokes, Funnies, and more jokes!

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	14 votes up	<- Vote! ->	1 votes down	Laff Factor: PG:13

Instead of Astrological Signs, how about these ...What's Your
Business Sign?

1) MARKETING. You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a
marketing degree to avoid having to study in college,
concentrating instead on drinking and socializing which is
pretty much what your job responsibilities are now. Least
compatible with Sales.

2) SALES. Laziest of all signs, often referred to as "marketing
without a degree." You are also self-centered and paranoid.
Unless someone calls you and begs you to take their money, you
like to avoid contact with customers so you can "concentrate on
the big picture." You seek admiration for your golf game
throughout your life.

3) TECHNOLOGY. Unable to control anything in your personal life,
you are instead content to completely control everything that
happens at your workplace. Often even YOU don't understand what
you are saying but who the hell can tell. It is written that
Geeks shall inherit the Earth.

4) ENGINEERING. One of only two signs that actually studied in
school. It is said that ninety percent of all Personal ads are
placed by engineers. You can be happy with yourself; your office
is full of all the latest "ergodynamic" gadgets. However, we all
know what is really causing your "carpal tunnel syndrome."

5) ACCOUNTING. The only other sign that studied in school. You
are mostly immune from office politics. You are the most feared
person in the organization; combined with your extreme
organizational traits, the majority of rumors concerning you say
that you are completely insane.

6) HUMAN RESOURCES. Ironically, given your access to confidential
information, you tend to be the biggest gossip within the
organization. Possibly the only other person that does less work
than marketing, you are unable to return any calls today because
you have to get a haircut, have lunch AND then mail a letter.

7) MANAGEMENT/MIDDLE MANAGEMENT. Catty, cutthroat, yet completely
spineless, you are destined to remain at your current job for
the rest of your life. Unable to make a single decision you tend
to measure your worth by the number of meetings you can schedule
for yourself. Best suited to marry other "Middle Managers" as
everyone in your social circle is a "Middle Manager."

8) SENIOR MANAGEMENT. (See above - Same sign, different title).

9)CUSTOMER SERVICE. Bright, cheery, positive, you are a fifty-
cent cab ride from taking your own life. As children very few of
you asked your parents for a little cubicle for your room and a
headset so you could pretend to play "Customer Service."
Continually passed over for promotions, your best bet is to
sleep with your manager.

10) CONSULTANT. Lacking any specific knowledge, you use acronyms
to avoid revealing your utter lack of experience. You have
convinced yourself that your "skills" are in demand and that you
could get a higher paying job with any other organization in a
heartbeat. You will spend an eternity contemplating these career
opportunities without ever taking direct action.

11) RECRUITER, "HEADHUNTER". As a "person" that profits from the
success of others, you are disdained by most people who actually
work for a living. Paid on commission and susceptible to
alcoholism, your ulcers and frequent heart attacks correspond
directly with fluctuations in the stock market.

12) PARTNER, PRESIDENT, CEO You are brilliant or lucky. Your
inability to figure out complex systems such as the fax machine
suggest the latter.

13) GOVERNMENT WORKER Paid to take days off. Government workers
are genius inventors, like the invention of new Holidays. They
usually suffer from deep depression or anxiety and usually
commit serious crimes while on the job.... Thus the term "GO
POSTAL"

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