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Subject: Computers

As you may well know, Hebrew nouns have a gender. When the time came
to translate the word "Computer" to Hebrew, its gender had to be
decided. They established two expert committees, one of men and the other of women. Each committee was instructed to decided on the machine's gender - "Machshev" (male form) or "Machshevet" (female form), and to give five main reasons.


The women's committee recommended that computers be male, because:

1. To get their attention, you have to turn them on.

2. They will usually do what they are asked, but nothing more, and they won't think of doing it themselves.

3. They are supposed to solve your problems, but most of the time they are the problem.

4. As soon as you are committed to one, you find out that had you waited just a little bit longer, you would have got a better model.

5. They usually become outdated in five years and need to be replaced, but some of the users feel that they have already invested so much in that damned machine they put up with an imperfect model.


On the other hand, the men's committee claimed the computers should be
female (what else), because:

1. No one but the Creator understands their inner logic.

2. The language they use to communicate among themselves is incomprehensible to anyone else.

3. Even your slightest error is maintained in long-term memory for use at a later date.

4. The error message "Bad command or file name" is about as informative as "If you don't know why I am mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you!!!"

5. Once you are committed to one, you find yourself spending half your payroll on accessories for her.

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