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Tech Support: "OK Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at
the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.
Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager."

Customer: "I don't have a 'P'."
Tech Support: "On your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "What do you mean?"
Tech Support: "'P' on you keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "I'm not going to do that!"

===================
Overheard in a computer shop:
Customer: "I'd like a mouse mat, please."
Salesperson: "Certainly sir, we've got a large variety."
Customer: "But will they be compatible with my computer?"
===================
I once received a fax with a note on the bottom to fax the document
back to the sender when I was finished with it, because he needed to
keep it.
====================
Customer: "Can you copy the Internet for me onto this diskette?"
====================
I work for a local ISP. Frequently we receive phone calls that go
something like this:
Customer: "Hi... Is this the Internet?"
=====================
Some people pay for their online services with check made payable to
"The Internet".
======================
Customer: "So, that will get me connected to the Internet, right?"
Tech Support: "Yeah."
Customer: "And that's the latest version of the Internet, right?"
Tech Support: "Uhh... uh... uh...yeah."
====================
Tech Support: "All right. Now double-click on the File Manager icon."
Customer: "That's why I hate this Windows - because of the icons.
I'm a Protestant, and I don't believe in icons."

Tech Support: "Well, that's just an industry term sir. I don't believe it was meant to..."

Customer: "I don't care about any 'Industry Terms.' I don't believe
in icons."

Tech Support: "Well... why don't you click on the 'little picture'
of a file cabinet ... is 'little picture' OK?"

Customer: [Click]
====================
Customer: "My computer crashed!"
Tech Support: "It crashed?"
Customer: "Yeah, it won't let me play my game..."
Tech Support: "All right then, hit Control-Alt-Delete to reboot it."
Customer: "No, it didn't crash - it crashed!"
Tech Support: "Huh?"
Customer: "I crashed my game. That's what I said before! I crashed
the spaceship, and now it doesn't work."
Tech Support: "Click on 'File', then 'New Game'."

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