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Important Notice!

It has come to our attention that a few copies of the West Virginia
edition of windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped outside West
Virginia. If you have one of the West Virginia editions you may need
some help understanding the commands. The West Virginia edition may
be recognized by looking at the opening screen. It reads WINDERS 98
with a background picture of the General Lee super imposed on a
Confederate flag. It is shipped with a Daisy Duke screen saver
enabled.

Also note:
the Recycle Bin is labeled Outhouse, My Computer is called This
Infernal Contraption, Dialup Networking is called Good Ol' Boys, Control Panel is known as the Dern Dashboard, Hard Drive is referred to as 4 wheel drive, and floppies are them little ole plactic disc thangs.

Other distinguishing features:
Instead of an error message you get a winder covered with a garbage
bag and duct tape.

OK = ats aww-right
cancel = hail no
reset = awa shoot
yes = shore
no = Naaaa
find = hunt-fer it
go to = over yonder
back = back yonder
help = hep me out here
stop = ternit off
start = crank it up
settings = sittins
programs = stuff at does stuff
documents = stuff I done

Also note that winders 98 does not recognize capital letters or
punctuation marks.

Some programs that are exclusive to winders 98:

tiperiter...........A word processor
colering book.......a graphics program
addin mershene......calculator
outhouse paper .....notepad
jupe-box ...........CD Player
iner-net............Microsoft Explorer
pichers.............A graphics viewer
IRS.................M/S accounting software
IRS2................M/S accounting software with hidden files
coon dog............American kennel club records
fishin..............Bass Anglers Sportsman Society records.
NRA.................National Rifle Association
shot gun ...........Remington Arms price list
riffel..............Winchester price list
pisstel.............Smith & Wesson price list
truck...............Ford & Chevrolet dealers in WV by zip code
house...............Nearest Mobile home repair service by zip code
car ................same as truck just need two list in West Virginia
cuzzins.............family history usually a 3 meg file
tax records.........usually an empty file
shells..............ammunition inventory another 3 meg file
bud.................list of Budwiser dealers by zip code
rasin...............NASCAR racing schedule
car n truck Parts...nearest Junk yard by zip code
doc ................veterinarians by zip code

We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a
copy of the West Virginia edition. You may return it to Microsoft for a
replacement version.

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