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Gynocologist:
"Dr. Smith, at your cervix."

Plumber:
"We repair what your husband Fixed."

On the trucks of a local plumbing company in NE Pennsylvania:
"Don't sleep with a drip call your plumber."

Pizza shop slogan:
"7 days without pizza makes one Weak."

At a tire shop in Milwaukee:
"Invite us to your next blowout."

Door of a plastic surgeons office:
"Hello, can we pick your nose?"

Sign at the psychic's Hotline:
"Don't call us, we'll call you."

At A Laundry Shop:
"How about we refund your money, send you a new one at no charge, close the
store and have the manager shot. Would that be satisfactory?"

At a Towing Company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."

Billboard on the side of the road:
"Keep your eyes on the road and stop reading these signs."

On an Electricians truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."

In a Nonsmoking Area:
" If we see smoking we will assume you are on fire and take
appropriate action."

On Maternity Room Door:
"Push, Push, Push."

At an Optometrists Office
"If you don't see what your looking for you've come to the
right place."

On a Taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff."

In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."

On a Butchers window:
"Let me meat your needs."

On a fence:
"Salesman Welcome, Dog food is expensive."

At a car Dealership :
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."

Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment Necessary, we hear you coming."

Outside a Hotel:
"Help! We need inn-experienced people."

On a desk in a reception room:
"We shoot every 3rd salesman , and the 2nd one just left."

In a Veterinarians waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes, Sit ! Stay! "

At the Electric Company:
"We would be de-lighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't you
will be."

On the door of a Computer Store:
"Out for a quick byte."

In a Restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry, come on in and get fed up."

Inside a Bowling Alley:
"Please be quiet, we need to hear a pin drop."

In the front yard of a funeral home:
"Drive carefully, we'll wait."

In a counselors office:
"Growing old is mandatory, growing wise is optional.

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