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ILL GATES BUYS A HOUSE

Bill: "There are a few issues we need to discuss."

Contractor: "Ah, you have our basic support option. Calls are
free for the first 90 days and $75 a call thereafter. It's been
over 90 days, so, this'll cost you $75, okay?"

Bill: "Uh, yeah... the first issue is the living room. We think
it's a little smaller than we anticipated."

Contractor: "Yeah. Some compromises were made to have it out by
the release date."

Bill: "Well, we won't be able to fit all our furniture in there."

Contractor: "Well, you have two options. You can purchase a new,
larger living room; or you can use a stacker."

Bill: "A stacker?"

Contractor: "Yeah, it allows you to fit around twice as much
furniture into the room. By stacking it, of course, you put the
entertainment center on the couch... the chairs on the table...
etc. You leave an empty spot, so when you want to use some
furniture you can unstack what you need and then put it back
when you're done."

Bill: "Mmmmm, I dunno... Well, let's go on to issue number two:
This is the light fixtures. The bulbs we brought with us from
our old home won't fit. The threads run the wrong way."

Contractor: "Oh! That's easy. Those bulbs aren't plug and play.
You'll have to upgrade to the new bulbs."

Bill: "And the electrical outlets? The holes are round, not
rectangular. How do I fix that?"

Contractor: "Just uninstall and reinstall the electrical system."

Bill: "You're kidding!?"

Contractor: "Nope. Its the only way."

Bill: " Well... I have one last problem. Sometimes, when I have
guests over, someone will flush the toilet and it won't stop.
The water pressure drops so low that the showers don't work."

Contractor: "That's a resource leakage problem. One fixture is
failing to terminate and is hogging the resources preventing
access from other fixtures."

Bill: "And how do I fix that?"

Contractor: "Well, after each flush, you all need to exit the
house, turn off the water at the street, turn it back on,
reenter the house and then you can get back to work."

Bill: "That's the last straw. What kind of product are you
selling me?"

Contractor: "Hey, nobody's making you buy it."

Bill: "And when will this be fixed?"

Contractor: "Oh, in your next house -- which will be ready to
release sometime near the end of next year. It was due out this
year, but we've had some delays..."

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