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Actual Business Signs

* On an Electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."
* Outside a Radiator Repair Shop: "Best place in town to take a leak."
* In a Non-smoking area: "If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
* On Maternity Room door: "Push, Push, Push."
* On a Front Door: "Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog."
* At an Optometrist's Office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
* On a Scientist's door: "Gone Fission"
* On a Taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."
* On an Italian Beef fast food sign: "Nobody beats our meat."
* In a Podiatrist's window: "Time wounds all heels."
* On a Butcher's window: "Let me meat your needs."
* On another Butcher's window: "Pleased to meat you."
* At a Used Car Lot: "Second Hand cars in first crash condition."
* On a fence: "Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive."
* Outside a Muffler Shop: "No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming."
* Outside a Hotel: "Help! We need inn-experienced people."
* In a Dry Cleaner's Emporium: "Drop your pants here."
* On a desk in a Reception Room: "We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left."
* In a Veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Si Stay!"
* On a Music Teacher's door: "Out Chopin."
* At the Electric Company: "We would be delighted if you send in your
bill. However, if you don't, you will be."
* In a Beauty Shop: "Dye now!"
* On the door of a Computer Store: "Out for a quick byte."
* In a Restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up."
* Inside a Bowling Alley: "Please be quiet. We need to hear a 20 pins drop."
* On the door of a Music Library: "Bach in a minuet."
* In the front yard of a Funeral Home: "Drive carefully, we'll wait."
* In a Counselor's office: "Growing old is mandatory. Growing wise is
optional."

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