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PG:125
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

She is not a BABE or a CHICK.
She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.

She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER.
She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.

She is not EASY.
She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.

She is not a BLEACHED BLONDE
She is PEROXIDE DEPENDENT.

She is not a BAD COOK
She is MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE.

She is not HALF NAKED
She is WARDROBE IMPAIRED.

She does not wear TOO MUCH JEWELRY
She is METALLICALLY OVERBURDENED.

She is not CONCEITED
She is INTIMATELY AWARE OF HER BEST QUALITIES

She does not want to be MARRIED
She wants to lock you in DOMESTICINCARCERATION.

She does not GAIN WEIGHT
She is a METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER.

She is not TOO SKINNY
She is SKELETALLY PROMINENT.

She does not HAVE A MUSTACHE
She is IN TOUCH WITH HER MASCULINE SIDE.

She does not HATE TELEVISED SPORTS
She is ATHLETICALLY IGNORANT

She does not WEAR TOO MUCH PERFUME
She commits FRAGRANCE ABUSE.

She does not GO SHOPPING
She is MALL FLUENT.

She does not get FAT or CHUBBY
She achieves MAXIMUM DENSITY.

She is not COLD or FRIGID
She is THERMALLY INACCESSIBLE.

She is not LOOSE
She is MORALLY IMPAIRED.

She does not WEAR TOO MUCH MAKEUP
She has reached COSMETIC SATURATION.

She does not have THIN LIPS
She is COLLAGEN DEPENDENT

She does not TEASE or FLIRT.
She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.

She is not DUMB.
She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.

She has not BEEN AROUND.
She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.

She does not GET YOU EXCITED.
She causes TEMPORARY BLOOD DISPLACEMENT.

She is not KINKY.
She is a NON-INHIBITED SEXUAL COMPANION.

She does not have a KILLER BODY.
She is TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE.

She is not an AIRHEAD.
She is REALITY IMPAIRED.

She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY.
She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.

She is not HORNY.
She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.

She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS.
She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.

She does not NAG YOU.
She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.

She is not a SLUT.
She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.

She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS.
She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.

She is not a TWO-BIT WHORE.
She is a LOW COST PROVIDER.

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